Monthly Archives: March 2013

We got Bread Chasers

We got dread shakers
And them niggas in the corner
Man, them lead sprayers

Haven’t done any work all weekend, was planning to last night but I got called into work instead. Fortunately it’s closed today so now I have to do all of it before I watch the Game of Thrones premiere. Hi Daenerys.

Deadlift: 440 x 3
Pretty easy, I’ve been taking a much narrower stance and grip and it feels pretty good

Squat: 250 x 6 x 2
Could have been faster

Back Extension: 90 x 3 x 5

Pinch Grip Deadlift: 145 x 3 x 8

Okay, gonna go benge and press volume as soon as I finish pooping. cya.


And I’ma tell you Macko is a Bitch

Got his name on a bullet, got a Ruger in my grip.

Eating has been going well, 5 big spoonfuls of peanut butter is 1000 calories, that info’s been useful. Today I ate a 1lb burger in ~5 minutes, it was pretty impressive imo.

Training is gonna be a bit fucky, Intensity pulls will be on Saturday because the gym is closed on Good Friday. Pretty sure Jesus didn’t die for me to have to change my lifting schedule.

Bench: 285 x 2, 295 x 2, 305 x 2
Everything was fast and awesome

Press: 190 x 2, 200 x 2, 210 x 2
Felt the burger under my belt quite a bit imo

Curls: (40, 25, 20) x 2 x 8
Had to use 25s because I couldn’t find any 30s not in use. Wasn’t happy.

Skull Crushers: 110 x 2 x 10

You not on my Pedestal

This is a five year old trying to pet a stove.

So, once again, me not turning down drinks I didn’t want resulted in me getting too drunk.

From now on policy is if I don’t want a drink, I’m not drinking it. I don’t care if I insult someone or they call me a pussy, I don’t want to be shitfaced.

That said, I had a lot of fun.

As much as sober Mark hates talking to people he doesn’t know about his lifting, drunk Mark doesn’t mind as much. I mean, he still doesn’t like it, but when (not if) my friends start telling people about it, he’ll talk about it. This ultimately culminated into me talking to some girl I didn’t know and still don’t about it for 5 minutes, with her finally saying “I bet you could just lift me straight over your head” Obviously, I said “Yeah, I could” Thinking ‘hmmmmm, I’m pretty fucking drunk, not sure how safe this is….meh, she’s small, fuck it.’ and overhead pressed her, relieved as fuck I didn’t drop her or something.

Also did a lot of Dancing to Money Trees, which, almost 6 months later is still fucking amazing, and will continue to be amazing for a long time.

I wore my “PUGS NOT DRUGS” shirt which is apparently incredible popular with the woman-folk. I swear at some point someone just straight up took a picture of my shirt. To be fair, it’s a pretty awesome shirt.

Sunday morning, however, was not fun. Went to sleep around 0330h, woke up at 0630h, had a drink of water, and left. Hour and a half drive, stopped for breakfast, and was lifting by 0830h.

Almost forgot, prior to anyone being drunk some girl told me my muscles were big and asked if I lifted weights, I obviously said “No, I do Zumba” and she was thisclose to believing it. I was pretty disappointed.

Bench: 245 x 3 x 5
Went up easy, but wasn’t fun

Press: 160 x 3 x 5
Cleaned all of them, they were a bit tougher than they should have been, and I’m pretty sure I took a micronap between sets 2 and 3

Pull-ups: 2 x 10
Honestly, my head was fucking killing me and I just wanted to go home and chug pedialyte and lie in bed.

Squats: 375 x 3 x 5
Felt really good, and they were deeper than a motherfucker

RDL + Shrug: 275 x 3 x 5
I’m going for that Brent Kim yoke

Rows: 225 x 3 x 5
Felt better than usual

Ring Chins: +60 x 5,5,9
Couldn’t just not do them

TGWCTABPB tripped fell off a treadmill, I was kinda sad and hoped she was okay, then I saw her limping down the stairs and I was really sad 😦


I’ll Slit Your Throat From Ear to Ear

Just to get my point across

So, on Wednesday, my prof brought the graded midterms to class. I had a feeling I didn’t do terribly well, but was pretty sure I at least passed. When he told everyone to collect them ~120 rushing to the front + me wanting to just go lift resulted in me not picking mine up. Hour later my buddy texts me and tells me he saw mine and I got 10/30. I was kinda losing it, and started studying that shit that night. Today, he walks up to me after a lecture with my midterm, turns out I got 23.5/30 on it. I was relieved, and lightweight pissed at him, even though it was hilarious.

But anyways, thinking I got 10/30 put me WAY out of the mood to go up north to my buddies’ place for on of their birthdays, but now I’m not in such a shitty mood. Brb driving an hour and a half to go party, and have literally just a couple drinks because I have to wake up at 0630h to get back and benge volume before work.

As I posted on Brent’s blog, today’s MopeWOD is to not actually exist, and realize you are just a figment of your own imagination.

>See girl approaching same set of double doors as me from other side
>Hold open door for her before going through
>I’m a man, it’s what I’m supposed to do
>She opens, walks though other one
>I fucking live this shit

Squat: 440 x 3
Wasn’t hard, but would have felt better were I not bloated, I need to figure out some better timing on eating for Fridays while bulking (Or learn to lift bloated?)

DE Deadlift: 275 x 6 x 2
Could have been faster, but I also really had to poo.

Back Extension: 80 x 3 x 5
Phat lower back pump after

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 145 x 3 x 8
Phat forearm pump after

Wrote this on the gym “Umentioned” page, which is like Craigslist Missed Connections for schools:

You’re strong, but slender. You can bend yourself in amazing ways. Cold to the first touch, but you make my heart race as we both warm to each other. I may see you with others, but they can’t move you the same. I may drop you, but I’ll always be there to pick you back up. A burden on my shoulders, but a labor of love.

I love you, Barbell.

Heater on the Dresser, Stomach Growling

Thinking, “How can I make some dollars within the hours?”

You guys ever hear of Black Milk?
He got a bit of a rep off of producing a bunch of shit for Slum Village and then started doing solo work, as well as a lot of production for people

This is his new song, I think it’s fucking amazing:

So yesterday I was unloading the women’s bar after presses one of the two girls I’m coaching, I took the weights off one end while it was vertical, swung it 180 degrees to clear the other end and it smacked me in the foot real hard. My big toe is a bit swollen. Toe still feels pretty bruised, I still fell pretty stupid.

Bench: 208 x 2, 290 x 2, 300 x 2
All were pretty easy, bigger arch from heel in the air feels good

Press: 185 x 2, 195 x 2, 205 x 2
Smoked everything

Curls: (40, 30, 22.5) x 2 x 8
Second set was kinda tough, actually

Skull crushers: 120 x 3 x 5
Wasn’t getting enough reps, so I did a third set

Firing Bullets thats Bigger than a Doberman Pinscher

Yoking ’em, choke holding ’em quicker than a boa constrictor.

>Wrangling carts at work
>Girl goes to add hers to row
>Holy shit she’s so fucking hot
>Doesn’t line it up right, misses
>Realigns, starts to go in
>Gets jammed, won’t go in all the way
>Her: Uhhhhm
>Me: It’s fine
>Pushes cart straight in
>She walks away leaving quarter in cart
>I don’t touch quarter, I’m not poor
>Push row up to front of store
>I pull trigger
>Punch out and go home

Benge: 245 x 3 x 5
Fast and easy

Press: 160 x 3 x 5
Cleaned each of the sets, gonna start doing that from now on

Ring Chins: +60 x 5,5,9
Felt good

Squats: 375 x 3 x 5
Felt decent, narrower stance because I can get lower that way, pretty exhausting

RDL + Shrug: 275 x 3 x 5
Shrug life bish

Row: 225 x 3 x 5
First two sets were shitty like usual, last one actually felt pretty good

Couple Drinks, Randy

American readers, did you guys ever get to watch Trailer Park Boys? It was pretty popular up here in Canada and it’s fucking hilarious. If you haven’t seen it you should probably look it up on youtube, every episode is on there, and it’s pretty fucking hilarious.

I weighed in at 188.5 this morning, that’s 5.5 up from where I was Monday. Decent.

Don’t really feel like writing much more because I spent a chunk of this evening writing the article for 70’s Big. I’ll obviously post the link if it goes up.

Squat: 405 x 1
Bit bloated, so it could have felt better, but was still fine.

Press: 200 x 1
Easy shit

Bench: 250 x 1
Also easy shit

Deadlift: 405 x 1
Pulled it double overhand, so it’s kind of a PR I guess.

With a Twitch of my Nose you’ll Disappear

I’ll Bewitch you.


I haven’t been able to find the ThatWasHard.gif in over a year, but if I could I’d post it here, it’s pretty good.

Forgot to mention that I threw this together on Sunday:

School’s been kinda shit lately, but I think I can turn that around pretty easily.

Starting to eat more now, hoping to be 202 within a couple months at most.

Squat: 315 x 5
Pretty decent, felt good.

Bench: 225 x 5
Feels a lot better with the bigger heels up arch.

Deadlift + Shrug: 315 x 5
Felt real good, worked on keeping the bar closer to my body.

Curls: (40, 30, 22.5) x 2 x 8

Did some lateral raises too just to fuck around.

There are Problems you can’t Rumble with Fists

Tasks you can’t juggle with hands cut off at the wrists.

So Saturday night one of the guys I lift with was celebrating his birthday with drinking and going to a club. I brought 4 tall cans of beer to his place. When I drink 4 tall cans of beer or ~7oz of a hard liquor, I generally have a real good time, don’t make a total ass of myself, and wake up in great shape.

Showed up to his place with my other friend that lifts with us, pounded one beer, because it’s fucking delicious beer, played a round of beer pong (i.e. drank a second beer) then got convinced to do a tequila shot, thinking whatever, I’m not buying myself any drinks at the bar, it won’t make much of a difference. (sidebar, tequila shots are not nearly as bad as everyone bitches and moans that they are, shit was not that bad at all) Drank my 3rd beer, and got 3/4 the way through the 4th before the cabs showed up and we had to leave.

Got to the bar and my buddy who’s birthday it was handed me another beer. Fuck.
Hung around for a while, raising my bottle to any attractive woman I saw (not in an obnoxious way that would be noticed by anyone that wasn’t standing there talking with me)
Got given a Jagerbomb (The shit is served in a cup inside of another cup, I just said “Not quite sure what I’m supposed to do with this” then drank it) another beer, a Jameson and ginger ale that tasted about 3 parts Jameson and 1 part ginger ale. While I was drinking that we headed down to the club attached to the bar, got handed another beer (that’s 10 drinks, if you haven’t been keeping count, I did not want to get that drunk) At this point I decided to split my time up between finding girls to dance with and talking to Nathan on facebook chat.

Went around the dance floor, found some girl, started dancing with her, and by dancing with her I mean she was rubbing her ass on my crotch, and TooDrunkMark is going at it pretty hard, after about 2 or 3 minutes I had the beer I was drinking in one hand and this girl’s vagina in the other. Her friends came up and interrupted, then left and we resumed, a little bit more into it and my hand a little bit firmer onto her box. At this point I was basically in Tyler Durden zone, NOT the guy Norton plays, not saying that I was or wasn’t having fun or that I do or don’t condone in what I did, it just is not something I would normally be doing. After about 5 more minutes, her friends came back and talked to her again, and then she walked away all angry, regrouped with the people I was there with, told them and Nathan what happened, then figured fuck it and started just dancing on my own, this got some other girl wanting to dance with me, and by this I actually mean legit dancing with me, did that for a while, hooked back up with my friends, did the Bernie Lean for a bit and left.

Went to Pizza Pizza, the pizza was shit and everyone was loud, and there was like 3 fights, I felt completely awful for the girl working the counter, put my headphones in and listened to Clipse because it was too loud and ate my shitty pizza.


Squat: 225 x 10
Went complete ass to grass, felt pretty good, lost count and had to ask how many I did.

Press: 135 x 5
Could have been a bit faster, I decided my press goal is to do 250 for my Movember vid this year.

Benge: 135 x 10
Fast as hell.

Deadlift: 225 x 10
Shrugged every rep.

There was a guy there I’ve talked to before that pulled either 410 or 415 for 6. He said he competed in a CPF push pull, he’s a pretty strong dude, so I invited him to lift with us when ever he wants. Yay, new friends.

Like a Matador

I got a flag and sword.

Just did more curls today.

I’m gonna write an article on motivation and dedication for Cloud to put on 70’s big after my midterm next week, I imagine it would end up on the site the week after. That should be pretty cool.

Really itching to start lifting again, even though next week will be retardedly light. Probably squat and pull 225 for 10 each and benge and press 135 for 10 and 5 respectively, then taper back up. After that I’ll go back to the same 4 day split, but taking 2.5lb jumps weekly on press and benge, and 5lb jumps on squat and pulls every other week. Gonna start at 440 for intensity squat and pulls, 280 for benge top set and 200 for press top set. I wanna press 250 for a single long before the end of the year, and as for the other lifts as long as I’mm gonna hit 600/400/60 as a junior I’ll be happy.