Monthly Archives: May 2013

Call me Exploding Muffin Dad

The way my dough pops

Slept like absolute fucking shit last night. My pops refuses to put the AC, so I rolled around sweating for 2 hours then woke up sweating like 3 times. Figured I was absolutely fucked for squats today.

Other than that had a phone interview for a scholarship. It was ~25 minutes long. I’m even more awkward on the phone than I am in person, but the guy was sick so his sniffling and coughing while he was talking gave me more time to think about what to say. Cya

Do you guys watch Hannibal? It just started this year and it’s fucking amazing. The writing is on point. It’s graphic as FUCK and the guy who plays Lecter is even better than Hopkins was at it. It’s only like 10 episodes in. Start watching.

Squat: 465 x 3
This shit FLEW up. First two reps felt like 315. 3rd felt like 405. I’ve gotten into this habit of yelling obnoxious shit after intensity work. So I racked the bar and yelled “SUM’N LIGHT.”

Deadlift: 300 x 1 x 10
Last 3 were a bit slow. Particularly the third last because it rubbed against my thighs the whole way up them.

Pinch Grip Deadlift: 140 x 3 x 8
First set was EZPZ, other 2 were tough.

Atlas Stone: 165 @ ~45″ for as long as it took to finish Feel Your Love Tonight (The audio in the vid is out of sync, I stopped right at the end of the song) I figure I’ll be better at getting them faster when I don’t have to chase the ball or the landing pad. Cya.


When the Lights go Down

And my scales start showin’
I’ll smash my fingers down
On the only truth that’s still worth knowin’

Had a nice talk with foxbrian last night about how confidence isn’t really a thing, because we both have the same problems.

“guys like us are what girls want
they just don’t know it
because they think “confidence” is a real thing.
it’s not.”

Don’t know whether that’s depressing or relieving, but either way it makes me feel something and it’s still a pretty great group of words.

Bench: 317.5 x 2, 327.5 x 2, 337.5 x 1P

Press: 212.5 x 2, 222.5 x 2, 227.5 x 3, 232.5 x 2
Misloaded the bar for the 3rd set, it was easy as fuck so I went for a third. started to unload the bar and realized I fucked up. 232.5 was still easy, anyways, and I’m totally down to get 2 press PRs in 10 minutes.

Tate Press: 50 x 2 x 11
Pretty easy. Knees moor wait imo

Skull Crushers: 90 x 2 x 9
Kinda slow

DB Curls: 45 x 2 x 12
DBs give me a way phatter pump, and lets be serious, that’s the whole reason we’re here.

Playing With the Guns They had in Munich

Rock climbing was pretty dope, and yes Harry, big time forearm and bicep work. I got a bit of elbow pain for a bit, but that subsided. The girl working there said I was cheating because I’d just grab the rock handle things and do pull ups the whole way up. I ended up being decent at it, though. I climbed a 5.9, which I guess is sorta good.

Bench: 260 x 3 x 5
Could have been a lot faster on the last set, but the grip is real narrow now.

Press: 175 x 3 x 5
Flew up

Ring Chins: +75 x 5,5,9
Felt pretty good

Squats: 390 x 3 x 5
Slow, tougher than usual. Wearing sweat pants was a huge fucking mistake, too.

RDL + Shrug: 290 x 3 x 5
Better than last week

Row: 260 x 3 x 5

Welp, I’m off to continue being a passive jelly-dick

You in the Ring with Goliath

Without a slingshot or a rock to throw

So Atlas stones are pretty fucking difficult. I worked with mine a bit. Definitely wish it was smoother because now I have some juicy cuts on my forearm. It’s too late now but but if I do another Strongman comp I’ll be programming in deficit sumo deadlifts because the hard part is definitely getting it of the ground. I find it pretty easy to get it up my chest.

Probably rock climbing tomorrow, that should be fun and give me a phat forearm pump.

Deadlifts: 460 x 3
Could have been a bit faster, but pretty smooth overall

DE Squats: 275 x 6 x 2
Faster than I was expecting them to be.

Back Extensions: 80 x 3 x 5
PHAT pump

Atlas Stone: 165lb over ~45″ bar x 12
Didn’t touch the bar once, so I should have some more in the tank. I wouldn’t mind getting 20 at the meet.

Timberlands Pop That Jawbone

Now bitch nigga tell me how that tar tastes

Missed my bench again. I touched way too far up on my chest (3-4″ maybe?) on the second rep, but it wasn’t as close as the last two weeks. I’m just gonna move up with 2.5lb jumps doing paused singles for the heaviest set for a while and see how that works out.

So essentially my intensity bench set up is gonna look like:
(X – 20) x 2
(X – 10) x 2
X x 1 (paused)

Should work out okay for a while. It’s only 65 more lbs.

Other than that, I’m gonna start playing with my atlas stone tomorrow, I have it all set up with a little bar to lift it over in my back yard. Probably just gonna do AMRAP every Friday until the Strongman meet. Should be good conditioning.

Bench: 315 x 2, 325 x 2, 335 x 1

Press: 210 x 2, 220 x 2, 230 x 2
Missed 230 the first time, when I took a breath at the top after the first rep the bar started to descend while I was mid-inhale, then the bar came out in front of me when I started pressing it. Tried it again and smoked it big time.

Tate Press: 50 x 2 x 10
Moving up reps next week for sure

Skull Crushers: 80 x 2 x 12
Moving up weight next time

Curl: 115 x 2 x 9
Some poo butt muthaphucca was squatting (shallow) less than I was curling in the closest rack. He was there with a girl, I couldn’t tell if it was his ladyfriend because she out weighed him by at least 30lb (of muscle, this kid could not have weighed more than 100lb) and was squatting more weight, to depth. Cya.

House Full of Ratchets;

Bad Girls Club

Gym was closed yesterday because my birthday is a stat holiday in this country. People set off fireworks and shit. No biggie like Guerilla Black.

Wrote this on Brent’s blog. Thought it was worth posting here, too.

“Hey bro, it’s life. There’s a girl out who’s legit perfect for you. Her existence is essentially tailored to compliment yours. Good news, we’re gonna show her to you. Better yet, you can meet her, and even talk to her long enough to know that she’s perfect. Can’t talk to girls? That’s fine, take this bottle of Henny and that will sort itself out. Unfortunately though, I can never let you see her again. Happy birthday, faggot.”

I know I’ve become a good moper because the fact that this girl exists it the most shocking part of the whole ordeal to me. Never seeing her again is just another round in the chamber of the revolver I play this game I of Russian Roulette I call my life with. It’s standard ops.

And with that realization, I’ve pinned down the essence of MopeilityWOD:

“When disappointment is no longer disappointing.”

Todays MopeWOD: Meet the love of your life. Once.

Bench: 260 x 3 x 5
Moved my grip way in. Maybe like 4 inches per side with respect to intensity work. Top end was a bit slow, but no major difference in overall difficulty.

Press: 175 x 3 x 5
Felt really solid. Was expecting it to be harsh, but it wasn’t

Ring Chins: +75 x 5,5,8
First two sets were pretty easy, last one wasn’t

Squat: 390 x 3 x 5
They weren’t hard but I was dying after each set because the gym was so fucking hot and humid. My shirt was soaked about down to my navel. Good thing it was white. Cya

RDL + Shrug: 290 x 3 x 5
Bit sluggish, whatever.

Rows: 260 x 3 x 5
Really easy and smooth. First two sets especially.

3:30 in the Special Class

The way I let them dummies go

Met the perfect woman last night. I was visiting my buddies up at their place, she was visiting her friends, one of whom happens to be going out with one of my buddies. Saw her at the party we were at and thought “Holy fuck she’s pretty” ready to be typical jelly-dick Mark and not do anything about it.

But not last night. Last night I was drinking Henny out the bottle.

The party was lame as fuck, so we all left and went to a pub. I started talking to her (I know, right?) and she’s an engineering student and actually legit smart as hell, and she says she does the same thing I do where you can’t just look at something new and be fine with it, you have to go and figure out how it works and stuff. My buddy and I ordered wings with me thinking we were gonna stay there after we got them and keep hanging out. Nope. Soon as we got our food my buddies ran out to a cab and I had to follow and leave without even saying goodbye.

I will most likely never see this girl again in my entire life.

I’ve moved the grip on my volume press in, maybe I’ll move it in even more. I want to avoid cycling back down if I can. The Slingshot is supposed to help you more off the chest, that’s the point, it gives you the most assistance in the bottom then nearly none at lockout, but the bar is moving faster than it would be at your sticking point so you can train your lockout specifically.

Squat: 460 x 3

DE Deadlifts: 300 x 1 x 10
Last 3 felt like they slowed down a bit, but the first 7 were real quick. I want an accelerometer for the bar.

Back Extensions: 80 x 3 x 5
Had to lift at a different time so I was dolo, so I couldn’t use the GHR. Lame.

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 140 x 3 x 8
Easier than usual, but still not very easy.

I be in the House, With the Bud

On the couch, like Al Bundy with the 4 tucked

Gonna have to figure out what to do with my bench. My lockout is really fucking holding me back here. It’s legit like the top 2-3″ of it. It’s so close I can taste it. I’ll take one more swing at 335 next week, and if not it’ll be time to get a slingshot or add in board presses.

Atlas stone making is going well, the underground negative held, and the concrete is poured in. I poured it last night so I’m thinking it will need about a week to fully set, since it’s completely buried. After that I’ll need to do a bit of sanding and finishing and it will be ready to use. Guess I should order some tacky now too.

Bench: 315 x 2, 325 x 2, 335 x 1
Same deal as last week, smoked the first two sets, couldn’t for the life of me lock out the second rep at 335.

Press: 207.5 x 3, 217.5 x 2, 227.5 x 2
Really easy, even easier than I thought it would be

Tate Press: 50 x 2 x 10
Phat pump

Skull Crushers: 80 x 2 x 12
Even phatter pump

Curls: 115 x 2 x 8

Used to Be That Fat Nigga

Getting money off’a white girl
Call that my blindside

Gym hours are all changed around, which completely fucks with my schedule. Now it doesn’t open until 1000h on Sundays, which means this week I’m Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. I don’t really like that split, but I’d rather do it than pay for a membership somewhere else.

It’s my birthday this weekend. You’re all invited, we’re drinking Henny out the bottle.

Bench: 255 x 3 x 5
Moved my grip in about 1.5″ on each side, actually felt a bit easier than usual, but I imagine that has something to do with the extra day of recovery

Press: 170 x 3 x 5
Solid, nothing that stuck out about them

Ring Chins: +70 x 5,5,9
Guess I’ll just keep moving these up, I feel like they should have stalled before 70lb, but whatever, I’m not complaining

Squat: 385 x 3 x 5
Easy, felt good.

RDL + Shrug: 285 x 3 x 5
Shrugs were kinda sloppy for some reason

Rows: 255 x 3 x 5
Real easy

I Got a Pain That you Can’t Allay

unless your name is Anne Hathaway
Or you’ve got a similar pair of eyes the size you see in anime 
and a pair of lips sweeter than a sip Cabernet

So I decided to do a Strongman meet July 1st. Gym will be closed anyways, so I’ll just treat it as my volume lower body day. The events are 165lb Atlas Stone for reps, Deadlift ladder with 8 reps from 275 to 415, and a truck pull. I’ve never lifted an Atlas Stone before so I’m gonna make one. A mold costs $110 before shipping so I found out you can bury an appropriately sized ball underground to make a negative, deflate the ball, take it out of the hole and pour concrete in, then once the concrete is set dig it out. Sounds good to me.

I’m slightly worried about the deadlifts because they say the reps are 15 seconds apart, and that’s not a lot of time to set up, even though the weights are pretty damn light. Adam says it will be fine, so I’m sure it will be fine.

Deadlift: 455 x 3
Was bloated so it was mad uncomfortable, but aside from that it was real easy

Squats: 250 x 6 x 2
Need to move the weight up. I’m thinking 275

Back Extensions: 80 x 3 x 5
These could also be heavier

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 140 x 3 x 8
Fucking retardedly difficult.