Monthly Archives: June 2013

Summon the Demons

Open up the gates of hell. Let whatever rises out assume control. Get ready for battle, your sword had better be sharp, because it’s too late to do anything now. For the next 60 seconds stop pretending your life is okay. It’s shit. All that shit is sitting on the bar, held in by a collar on either side. All your problems, all your pain and misery manifested in a few hundred pounds of iron. It sits there on the hooks, cocky, waiting for you to step to it. It wants to crush you. It wants to see you yield. It wants to make you it’s bitch. As it stares at you, stare back at it. Give it that look, you know the the one, the one that calmly, but firmly states “I’m no one’s bitch.” Breathe heavy, get your heart rate up, let demons stir the fear, anger and adrenaline together. You need everything you can get. Know that this is everything, these next 30 seconds are are everything, its do or die, rise or fall, put life’s head on a stick for all to see or become it’s slave for the rest of your days. Charge your enemy, attack it, drive your hands into it one at a time, shove it into your back, take a deep breath and go to war.


Oh, he Grindin’?

When’s the Last Time you Heard it Like This
I’ll catch him at Popeyes, eatin’ chicken and fries
And hit him with these Clips(e)

So Wednesday I found out the Strongman meet got completely changed around.

Event 1: Deadlift Medley, 90 sec time limit
Straight bar :405 x 1
Trap bar: 495 x 1
2″ Axle: 300 x 1
Farmer’s Walk Handles: 250 x 1

Pretty sure this won’t be a problem. I’m told Trap bars are significantly easier than regular deadlifts. The handles should be awkward, but not too hard, since it’s still only a partial dl.

2. Stone for reps: 175 for 90 seconds

Standard ops, hopefully I can squeeze out 10 reps.

3. Truck medley: 2700kg truck seated pull/push

I’ll gonna math out the friction force of a 2700kg truck on pavement/grass, this on should be a bit tough, but we’ll see.


Squat 475 x 3
Could have been a bit easier, but still wasn’t that tough. On to the next one.

Dropped the speed pulls and pinch grip DLs with the contest being Monday. Also not doing chins on Sunday.

I’ll do the “Not the Father” Maury with your Wife

Ain’t that about a bitch, like the story of your life

Slept last night, that was cool.

>Goes to nearest Smoke’s Poutinerie
>In strip mall with like 10 different restaurants
>Excited for this, never tried it before
>Gonna get like 5 different meats
>Walks in
>This looks weird
>Employees sitting at table
>One guy says “Hey, can I help you”
>”Yeah can I get some takeout?”
>”This is actually our head office”

Bench: 300 x 2, 310 x 2, 320 x 2
First two sets were really easy, last one was still pretty easy.

Press: 217.5 x 2, 227.5 x 2, 237.5 x 2
Couldn’t get the bar to my chest comfortably, so it was maybe a 1/4″ off at the bottom of the last set. It was still not that hard, though

Bench: 265 x 7
8th rep stalled out at the height of the hooks that the bar sits in when you’re not using it. Cya.

Skull Crushers: 100 x 2 x 8
Decent, felt kinda light.

Curls: 50 x 2 x 8
Pump coulda been fatter.

The Clip Look Like the Bottom Leg of a Rocking Chair

So my house is about 30 degrees celcius. not only is this incredibly uncomfortable during the day, but on top of that it makes it nearly impossible to sleep. I got maybe 5 hours of sleep last night. Spent another 3 trying to sleep unsuccessfully. That was fun. As usual, when squatting on low sleep my piriformis was bugging me today. Hopefully it cools off later in the week so I can get my first squat PR in 11 months.

According to my 1RM to XRM relation for calculating how much I’d have to do for X reps to squat a certain amount for a single, I need 508 for a triple to get 555 for a single. I think 510 for 3 is a pretty reasonable goal for the end of the year, if not sooner, then I’ll be forced to take a week (or 2?) off while the gym is closed for Christmas/New Years. Hopefully I can find a meet somewhere in the first half of 2014 to do because I’d like to be able to at least put some significant improvement between qualifying for raw unity and doing it.

Bench: 265 x 3 x 5
Really easy, all three sets went up fast.

Sling Shot Bench: 275 x 9
Could have squeezed out one or two more, but I didn’t have a spotter, so I was a bit cautious. The bottom end of your bench feels like half the weight, though, and I got the lightest one. Thing is pretty cool, overall.

Press: 180 x 3 x 5
3rd set was all the way fucked up because I gripped the bar in that one spot on my hand where it feels like it’s pinching a nerve or something. Sidenote: Since I started benching suicide that hasn’t happened once. Guess I should start pressing suicide.

Ring Chins: +75 x 3 x 8
Felt good, wasn’t that hard.

Squat: 395 x 3 x 5
Slow and awful

RDL + Shrug: 290 x 3 x 5
Surprisingly easy

Row: 265 x 3 x 5
Felt okay, hands were kinda raw after. Nothing compared to after Pinch Grip DLs

Louisville to Your Leg

It’ll look like Kevin Ware’s
He lookin’ at me the way Kevin Ware looks at a set of stairs

Realized tonight that I’m just over a week out from the strongman meet. Didn’t order Tacky, but I don’t think I’ll need it, to be honest. As I said, I want to get at least 1 rep per 10 seconds of the time limit, and I can’t see lack of tacky being the limiting factor for a 165 stone. Deadlifts should be ezpz, I mean, I could almost definitely do a set of 8 with 415, so 8 reps with 275 to 415 shouldn’t be a problem. Not sure what to expect with the truck pull, if it’s a huge truck I’ll be moving slowly or a regular pick up or what. I figure at the very least I’ll see some people who don’t understand physics or be too amateur to know what all the big dudes know from experience of keeping the rope parallel to the ground.

Deadlift: 470 x 3
Bit of a breather between reps 2 and 3, was bloated and felt like I was gonna puke on every rep, so I was hesitant to actually attempt the third rep because I was pretty sure I would. The reps themselves weren’t that hard, though.

DE Squat: 275 x 6 x 2
Couple of the first reps were a bit slow, all the seconds were fast.

Back Extension: 90 x 3 x 5
Massive hamstring cramp halfway through the last set. That was pretty fun. Cya

Twin Ratchets Smokin’

Like Patty and Selma

So this back off set is really fucking with my press apparently. I’m trying to decide between 2 options right now, the first one is to bench intensity week A and press intensity week B, making a 5lb jump every other week for both, the other idea is to do my bench intensity work, then my press intensity work, then do my bench set to failure. I think I’ll try option 2 first and then if that isn’t working for my bench, I’ll move to the first option.

Slanger showed up today, haven’t used it yet, but did try it on, it’s pretty tight around my arms, but I think it’s supposed to be. Should be fun to take a glipse at what it would be like to have a decent bench when I actually use it.

Bench: 297.5 x 2, 307.5 x 2, 317.5 x 2
Forgot my belt, so 3rd set was a bit slower than I’d have liked, but still pretty smooth. Set up feels good.

Press: 217.5 x 2, 227.5 x 2, 237.5 x 1
Used my buddy’s old shitty tapered belt, first two sets were easy, first rep of the last set was pretty easy, but I forgot to breathe at the top and wasn’t even close.

Skull crushers: 90 x 2 x 12
Really easy.

Curls:  50 x 2 x 8
Pump was kind of mediocre

I’m Rip Hamilton

You know I’m the shooter as soon as I mask up.

Bought a smoker on Saturday. I tried to cook some ribs with it. One rack turned out real good, the other was burnt to fuck, the smoker also kind of caught fire because it’s a piece of shit, so I have to return it before I even get to smoke a brisket. Guess I’ll have to buy a good one at some point instead of a $78 mickey mouse garbage can with an ashtray.

Kind of pumped for this SKRONGman meet, I feel like it will be even more fun than a PL Meet just because how casual the thing is. Plus it doesn’t start until 1100h, so no need to fuck with my sleep schedule in the weeks approaching.

Bench: 265 x 3 x 5
I really understand what Dave Tate was saying about how your set up should be exhausting. Slanger still isn’t here. Ghey.

Press: 180 x 3 x 5
Pretty easy, came forward on the last rep of the first set, so that one was a bit tough, but whatever.

Ring Chins: +75 x 3 x 8
Cool cool cool.

Today: 395 x 3 x 5
Gym was hotter than a motherfucker today, so these took a nice long while

RDL + Shrug: 290 x 3 x 5
Didn’t shrug last rep of second set because I was losing my grip due to not putting on chalk since my squats

Rows: 265 x 3 x 5
Felt okay, could probably use a little less body English.

Send Goons to Choke you Out

That’s what I call a gag order.

You guys check out the new Kanye album? If you haven’t don’t bother, it’s absolutely fucking garbage.

So I was wearing my short shorts to the gym today and that resulted in all sorts of shenanigans. Some girl came up to me and asked how I got my legs to look like that, so long story short apparently I’ve got 2 new lifters as of Monday, but we’ll see. Aside from that they were ripping apart as I went through my warm ups and work set. Brb pretty girl in a Beastie Boys t-shirt 15 feet away, better get my shorts to look like this while I squat, that will be AGL.


Squat: 470 x 3
Real easy despite being distracted by feeling my shorts rip farther open every rep. Last rep was about as hard as an Opener usually is. Next intensity squat will be a PR. Cool

DE Deadlift: 315 x 1 x 10
Last rep was too slow

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 140 x 3 x 8
Pretty easy

Was gonna do some stone work but my stomach is slightly fucky after a 4 piece from Popeyes. Might throw it around tomorrow, might not. I don’t think I really need that much more work with it.

They Ain’t on the Level I am

So they’re met with silence
You shouldn’t mention enemies unless you’re threatened by them

So Adam talked me into trying to qualify for Raw Unity with him next year (Qualify for Raw Unity 2015) I need to total 1471, so about 55lb each to my squat and deadlift and another 25 to my bench. It would probably be pretty cool to go there and be the only two guys that have never done drugs, and then not place.

“Got any competitions coming up, Mark?” 
“Yeah, a big one in the States, most of the really strong dudes lift at this one.”
“Do you think you can win it?”
“I’ll most likely be dead last”

Bench: 295 x 2, 305 x 2, 315 x 2, 265 x 8
Benched like Dave Tate told me to. It feels a bit different, especially the last set, with it being <90%. Added the back off set in there, got a nice pump in my pecs from that.

Press: 217.5 x 2, 227.5 x 2, 237.5 x 1
I presume the miss has something to do with the back off set that was almost to failure. Will attempt again next week.

Skull Crushers: 90 x 2 x 11

Curls: 50 x I lost count, 8

You don’t Wanna be in the Last Spot I was Locked

If you was I’d hit you with a padlock in a sock

So I’m going to Osheaga. It’s a three day music festival in Montreal. The acts I’m really looking forward to are Macklemore, Big Boi, and most of all, Kendrick Lamar. The Heavy is also playing and they’re pretty damn cool. Yelawolf is okayish, I’ll probably see him too. There’s a group on the line up who’s name is “A Tribe Called Red” I was real excited then real disappointed. I wanna see if I can meet them and ask them why they thought that that name was a good idea, because it clearly isn’t.

Knowing my friends as well as I do I’m volunteering to organize everything, because no one else would think to have info on public transport or book hotels before they’re full or scheduling where we have to be and when to see the acts we want to see, and I don’t like shit like this being disorganized. I also need to find a place to lift Sunday morning before we go see Kendrick and scream every word to Money Trees at the top of our lungs.

Bench: 265 x 3 x 5
Went suicide grip for the first time ever. Felt like I was using my biceps a back more, bar path was a bit sloppy as a result, but otherwise solid. I’m gonna add a back off set with the slanger on volume days when it gets here, and a back off set with out it on intensity days. Also gonna spend tonight watching all of Tate’s benching videos.

Press: 180 x 3 x 5
First two sets were fine, third set I worked on keeping my elbows in and it was a lot easier. Thanks, AC.

Ring Chins:
75 x 8,8,7
If you haven’t guessed I’m gonna try to move these to 3×8

Squat: 395 x 3 x 5
Bit slow, felt something at the top of my glutes after the set, I’ll have some quality time with my lacrosse ball.

RDL + Shrug: 290 x 3 x 5
Gonna move these up 5lb/6 weeks.

Rows: 265 x 3 x 5
Kinda tough today, especially the first set.