Monthly Archives: July 2013

I’m in Your Hood

Fixing every problem I see like a tune up

Everything is pretty much set for this weekend, packing up tomorrow. Gonna have to figure out how to get reasonable amounts of protein each day.

The zoo was fucking sweet yesterday. The Pandas ate a fuck ton of bamboo. I will never love anything as much as those two Pandas love bamboo. The Polar Bear did a back stroke.

There was also a baby arctic fox, and Zoboomafoos. The Otter was a bit of a dickhead. Some fucking loser was walking around in an off brand under armor shirt with the bottom folded up so his gut was hanging out. There were kids everywhere so that was completely reasonable behavior.

Bench: 312.5 x 2, 322.5 x 2, 332.5 x 2
Last set was a bit slow, but I didn’t sleep much, so I’m not surprised. It’s a PR, though.

Press: 230 x 2, 230 x 1
Ah, shit. Fucked’er bud.

Push Press: 250 x 3
20lb PRs are cool.

Skull Crusher: 110 x 2 x 8
Felt okay, need to do some elbow mobility.

Curl: 55 x 2 x 8
Pretty easy, actually.


When I Come Back Like Jordan

Wearing the .45
It’s not to play games with you, it’s to aim at you.

Pandas tomorrow, should be a good time. Osheaga is locked in, tickets have arrived, etc. My gym is closed the entire following week, so I’m gonna contact some local Crossfits and see if they’ll have us for the week. I’ll hopefully get to lift Monday/Tuesday/Thursday/Friday. We’ll be leaving hella early on Friday, so I’ll be Pulling on Thursday. Should be easy as long as I don’t let the bar drift out again.

Gonna train with Big Meetch from 70’s Big on Wednesday. Probably get into some debauchery afterwards. We’ll see.

Bench: 275 x 3 x 5
Felt pretty easy, could have been a bit faster.

Press: 187.5 x 3 x 5
Figured this would be a better idea than 5lb jumps. Felt really good.

Pull Ups: +75 x 5,5,8
First two sets were really easy, bit drained by the third.

Squat: 405 x 3 x 5
Lost focus at the bottom of the last rep of the second set, almost lost the bar, but I still got it. Aside from that rep everything else was really smooth. They took a lot out of me, though. I was pooped after them.

SLDL + Shrug: 300 x 3 x 5
Felt pretty good. I’m finding if I take my grip too narrow on the shrug my penis gets in the way. So, yeah.

Row: 270 x 3 x 5
Felt really easy and smooth. Especially the first two sets.

Your Home

Is where your ho and me get together,

So while I was at work today I started thinking about a section of Craigslist for mobility. You could post an ad there of work you needed done that one does not easily do to themselves, someone responds and you meat up, roll each other out and maybe become friends. I think it would be a good idea, as there’s not many people I know that who I can comfortably as to roll my quads with a broomstick.

Gonna go see the Giant pandas at the Zoo on Tuesday. Pretty excited. I’ll most likely wear my bear with sunglasses tank top and see if they accept me.

Normal, socially well adjusted person.

Squat: 485 x 3
It’s not 5 plates. It was a bit faster than 480, I feel like the first rep could have been a bit deeper, but still to depth, 2 and 3 were buried. On to the next one.

DE Deadlift: 315 x 10 x 1
Pretty dang fast

Pinch Grip Deadlift: 145 x 3 x 8
Did wait long enough for the second set so it was terrible, other 2 were fine.

This is for the Pimps

Listening to Mims
Nail polish on the rims

Still don’t have Osheaga tickets, <2 weeks away. Cya.

My gym is closed on the Monday following so training will be Tuesday/Wednesday/Friday/Saturday that week to accommodate. Also gonna have to train early the morning I’m scheduled to squat 495 x 3 because I’m going to see Tommy that afternoon. Brb, having a life is inconveniencing my training and I’m mildly upset about it.

Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy.

I worked the last 4 days in a row, so that’s been pretty awful. Now I work Friday as well, which will interfere with my post squat PR burrito. I guess I can just bring it to work, but it’s not the same.

It’s nice that these are the biggest problems I have to face, though.

Bench Press: 310 x 2, 320 x 2, 330 x 2
All 3 sets were a smoke show, particularly the second.

Press: 227.5 x 3
Took 2 attempts because I tried to go too soon after my last warm up/benching.

Bench Press: 270 x 8
Reasonable considering the second press attempt.

Skull Crusher: 100 x 12,10
See above

DB Curl: 50 x 8,9

Boy, it ain’t Nothing Funny When the Police Find you Dead

I ain’t givin’ you bunny ears when I hold the piece behind your head

I found this internet series called “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” Jerry Seinfeld goes out and picks up a comedian he’s friends with and they just go for coffee and talk unscripted. The episodes are around 15 minutes and they’re funny as hell. The series has a nice charm to it just because of the mood of the whole thing, just two funny people out getting coffee together. Go watch it.

Saw a girl wearing ranger shorts yesterday, I’m praying to Odin that this catches on because it was DAGL.

Bench: 270 x 3 x 5
Flew up, like beyond easy.
W/Slingshot: 280 x 9
Bit shaky on the last lockout, as it should be.

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Reasonably easy

Pull-ups: +75 x 5,5,8
Kept them pretty strict the whole time, a lot less swinging than on the rings

Squat: 400 x 3 x 5
Easiest they’ve been in a few weeks, lets hope that translates to Friday’s being easy as well.

RDL + Shrug: 295 x 2 x 5
Bar straight up rolled out of my hands on the 3rd shrug in the second set, so I didn’t get three of the shrugs in. I figured since my hands were slipping on the rusty-as-fuck bar I’d do

SLDL + Shrug: 295 x 1 x 5
For the last set, so I could reset my grip. Feels pretty good man. Stroup, you owe me a beej.

Row: 265 x 3 x 5
First set was rough, other two were fine.

Snub Nose Ring on a Rapper

like Makaveli

Spent an hour and a half tonight deciding whether to go next door for a dinner party or lie in bed without pants on. In the end free food got the W. First thing said to me when I walked in was that I’m thicker than I am wide.


Coworker asked me yesterday “How do you feel about Jesus?”


Deadlift: 480 x 3
First rep drifted forward so they were all kinda slow, thumbs slipped off on the third and it was a hella slow rep, but my thumbless grip was fine. Pinch grip deadlifts>>>>

Speed squats: 275 x 6 x 2
Pretty fast except for 2 or 3 reps.

Back extensions: 100 x 3 x 5
Pump coulda been better.

I’ll Put a Couple in ya Top

Like a wedding cake

Went out for wings and beers with lifting friends last night. A few of whom are even weirder than I am. For instance, one of them waved at people he didn’t know out the window as if he did know them until they waved back to him. I found this to be hilarious. Had a real good time and it’s the most social I’ve been in a while. So that’s good.

Went for dinner/movie with my parents tonight. Someone I went to high school, and have had at least 3 or 4 conversations with brought me my burger. Since I’m a normal socially well adjusted individual we just looked at each other awkwardly for a split second and I said nothing besides “Thank you.” Cya.

Benge: 307.5 x 2, 317.5 x 2, 327.5 x 2
Was pretty easy, even the last set even though it came out of the groove a bit. Shoes feel real nice for benching, but awful the rest of the time and look absolutely terrible.

Press: 225 x 3
Last rep was a bit slow, but it went alright

More Benge: 270 x 8
Bar came too far out on the 9th, then I over corrected and it traveled probably 10 inches laterally to right over my face. I had a spotter, though, so it was okay.

Skull Crushers: 100 x 12,11
Triceps looked fucking HUGE after this

Curls: 50 x 2 x 9
dece pump

You at the Club in Line Early

Dressed in your best clothes and the bouncer said heck no

So I had a pretty fun weekend. Worked all day Saturday, then came home and mixed and poured concrete until 2300h.

I’m gonna buy some bench shoes tomorrow. Adam recommends Nike Free Runs. The chucks really dig into the top of my feet. Spending $130 on shoes that I’m gonna use for bench pressing and nothing else is something that normal, sane, rational people do.

>At work today
>It’s a fucking prison
>Pretty customer flirts with me
>Not trained on how to deal with this situation
>Don’t know what to do
>Abort mission

Bench Press: 270 x 3 x 5
Hit the hooks on like 2 reps of the last set. That was fun.
W/Slanger: 280 x 9
Last lockout was a tad shaky, but I got it. Hopefully 10 next week.

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Felt kind of easier, far better than last week.

Pull ups: +75 x 3 x 5
Changing it up a bit, who doesn’t want a bigger back?

Squat: 400 x 3 x 5
Felt pretty good, way easier than last week. It was one of those “do all your volume squats to 2112 by Rush” days

RDL + Shrug: 295 x 3 x 5
Stroup said he’d suck my dick if I tried SLDLs as well, but I had to go to work, so maybe next week.

RDL: 265 x 3 x 5
Felt good, smooth, fast.

I’m in ya Crib Ass-Naked:

Tryna fuck ya baby mama out her door knockers.

Osheaga’s coming up, still haven’t found a gym for Sunday morning. Tryingto be a lifter and going to a music festival is a fucking prison.

Woke up about 5 times last night. Fucking up your sleep the night before attempting a squat PR is probably a good idea.

Yesterday some guy at work wanted to ask me a question and felt it was appropriate to put his hand on my shoulder while he was talking to me. This was basically the most uncomfortable I have ever been. Who the fuck puts their hands on a complete stranger? What makes him think that I’m gonna be okay with that? I probably should have said something about it but I was busy thinking “What the fuck is going on? Why is there a fucking hand on me right now?”

Pretty much if you’re talking to a complete stranger, don’t fucking touch them.

Squat: 480 x 3
15 more pounds ’til 5 plates. Pretty excited for that. Will most likely film it.
First two reps were decent, 3rd one was a bit slow, I think I came slightly forward and had to correct.

DE Deadlift: 315 x 1 x 10
Last rep was too slow, rest were good.

Pinch Grip Deadlift: 145 x 3 x 8
Last set was pretty tough, other two were okay.

When I was Talking Instagram

Last thing y’all wanted was your picture snapped.

So my press is fucking up big time. Couldn’t even get one rep at 240. Gonna go back to 225 and try triples again. Fucking pressing is fucked. Brb Nandrolone.

Had some massive doms from Monday, still a little bit left. Should be good for Friday, though. 480 x 3 on deck. Planning to crush it.

Got some mild heat stroke yesterday. I guess mowing my lawn in sweat pants at noon probably wasn’t the smartest idea. YOLO. Had a headache and felt too sick to my stomach to eat in the evening, so I laid in a cold bath and watched Saved by the Bell instead of laying in my bed and watching Saved by the Bell and felt mostly better, then had some chicken.

Bench: 305 x 2, 315 x 2, 325 x 2
Each set was easier than the last, 325 was a fucking smoke show.

Press: 210 x 2, 230 x 2, 240 x 0
Misloaded the first set. Second one was easy, barely got 240 off my chest. Maybe to chin level.

Bench: 270 x 8
Felt Goodx2

Skull Crushers: 100 x 2 x 11
Kept making awkward eye contact with The Girl Who Wore The Beastie Boys T Shirt That One Time. Good thing I was feeling especially beta from missing my press.

DB Curls: 50 x 2 x 9
Feels good man.