Monthly Archives: August 2013

You Zee me Pullin’ Birds like a Jet Engine

So, when we were leaving Osheaga, my buddy packed my 2 best tank tops, and my wolf shirt in with his stuff. I was gonna go have a couple drinks with him and some other friends tonight, but that’s not happening, so I’m doing it tomorrow night after work instead. Basically I get to work for 8.5 hours, then as soon as I’m done drive for an hour and a half. 

Coffee pls.

Aside from that, school starts in a week. My last year for now, still debating my Masters. I want to have it but I hate research and a Masters in engineering is almost entirely research from what I understand. If I do get it it won’t be for a little while and maybe not even in this country, so I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Either way, I want to try and finish with a 4.0 for this year, but as long as I don’t do worse than I have so far, my overall GPA will stay above 3.0, which is still hella dece.

Cool beans.

Deadlift: 490 x 3
Could have been faster, wasn’t really in the zone for this. lost my thumb on my pronated hand on rep 2, but kept it on rep 3.

Speed Squats: 275 x 6 x 2
Second rep was faster than the first every set. I dunno it just was.

Back Extension: 90 x 3 x 5
Gonna start doing pauses at the top because Adam says it makes him cum.


Watch the Ground, ‘Cause There’s a Cottonmouth in Reach

If you got something to talk about, wash it down with bleach.

So basically, what I learned today, is that it’s a terrible idea to try and bench a PR 4 days after a Bench meet. I thought it would be enough time to recover, I was wrong. Okay, I fucked up, I admit it. Don’t expect I’ll need a deload, though.

Don’t think I told you guys, I have a tumblr now, Thom Vale thinks it’s the best thing on the internet.

Bench: 320 x 2, 330 x 2, 340 x 1
I basically knew I wasn’t getting a double at 340 as soon as I hit my last warm up at 275. 160kg was my goal for the year anyways, so I’m not too mad about it. Didn’t do the back off set because the recovery is definitely more valuable for this week. Back to normal as of Sunday.

Press: 225 x 3
Basically what I was expecting I would be getting after (attempting) intensity bench.

Skull Crushers: 110 x 2 x 10
Nose started bleeding between sets. I got nothin’

DB Curls: 55 x 2 x 9
7/10 Pump

My Strap Sound like Waka Flocka Flame

My gat loud like blocka-blocka-BANG

Didn’t have my laptop from yesterday afternoon to this afternoon. I basically was just wishing I was dead.

At least I don’t spend too much time on the internet.

Press: 180 x 3 x 5
Fast, smooth, easy, etc

Chins: +90 x 5,5,7

Neck Curls: 12kg x 15, 15, 20
Can’t wait for my neck to be huge. Like, legit, cannot wait.

Squats: 405 x 3 x 5
First two sets were easy, last one wasn’t. Probably because I took the bar a bit higher on my back just to try it.

SLDL + Shrug: 300 x 3 x 5
I had an awful selection of shorts and the bar tapped my penis on like 10 of the reps. So, yeah.

Row: 275 x 3 x 5
Tough as hell, for some reason. I dunno.

Knock ya Teeth Out

You gon’ make the tooth fairy’s night

Hey guys, I competed in a bench only meet today, so this here is gonna be a meet report. 

Weighed in at 93.6 kg, pretty much what I was expecting as I didn’t care to do a water cut with me having a week’s notice for the meet and a big squat PR scheduled this past Friday.

Like I usually do, I got scared that I wouldn’t have enough time to warm up and warmed up too early. After I took my last warm up, 275lb x 1, it was about 20 minutes to my opener.

My meet PR was 140kg (319lb) before today, I called for 150kg (330lb) to open. I’ve hit 337.5lb x 2 in the gym, so I figured 330lb would be a reasonable estimate for what I could triple. Maybe a bit high, but I could definitely get it. Bar came a bit forward coming of the chest but I recovered and locked it out. It was a lot slower than I would have liked, especially playing the video back afterwards. Called for 155kg (341lb) like I planned to anyways, knowing I had to nail my bar path or it was game over.

140kg coming up, IDGAF by Kevin Gates BLASTING. In my zone. Handler signalled that the bar was loaded for me. Set up was perfect, descent perfect. “Press.” Bar flew off my chest. I’ve never benched anything above 315 that fast. I knew I was capable of doing what I showed up to do, 160kg (352lb).

Called for 160kg. Pacing back and forth, focused, thinking about my bar path, push my heels down, squeeze the fuck out of the bar. My flight was a bit longer than I would have liked, I was getting antsy. 3 lifters out, Last Donut of the Night by J Dilla on repeat. I don’t know what it is about that song, but when I play it all the emotions come out at once, it’s everything. It’s a 101 second instrumental, but it’s so much more. It’s not hard, or heavy, or fast, it just hits a switch for me. Everything pours out.

Set up on the bench, exactly where I want to be. As I get the hand-off my shoulders slip back and my arch sags. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” I take the bar down nice and smooth “Press.” quick off the chest then it slows right the fuck down. I’m refusing to miss this rep. My right arm raises a bit further, my left lagging behind slightly. Glacial pace. Millimeter by millimeter squirming towards lockout. “Keep that butt in the bench. Heel down. Press back!” Right arm lockout out, the left a split second behind it. “RACK!”

Vids of the meet will be posted when I get them (Most likely Monday)

33lb competition PR (Since March 2013) and a 15lb overall PR. I’m pretty satisfied. After that I drank Canadian beer and ate a 1lb burger, then Menchies.

Today was a good day.

If I Wanted Feedback

I’d turn up the microphone and scream into the pre-amp

So I told my parents I’m thinking of moving to another country after school, which I am because the societal norm in North America is to be a piece of shit. For some reason they understood this as me being depressed or trying to run away from something.

That’s healthy.

Anyways, my short list is currently: Ireland, Sweden, Switzerland, Norway, Scotland.

If I get a job at the firm I was at last summer I’ll stay in Canada, otherwise I’ll probably spend as much time looking for work in each of the countries I listed as I will looking for work in Canada.

Squat: 495 x 3
Last rep was really fucking tough, almost didn’t get it, but I wasn’t letting that happen.

DE Deadlift: 315 x 10 x 1
Every rep but #5 was fast, especially 1-4. Right hammy was a bit tight after the squats, felt fine by the end of the pulls.

Pinch Grip DL: 145 x 3 x 8
The Girl Who’s Too Hot To Know I Exist def noticed I exist during these imo.

Did I Really Scale Them Keys?

You be the judge
Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge

So all set for the Bench meet on Saturday. I’m looking to open with 150kg, take 155kg as my second, and finish with 160kg. 160 should be big time sketchy, but on the bright side my opener is a PR. My lifter is going to be going 40kg, 45kg, then hopefully 50kg, but maybe only 47.5kg depending on speed.

Because of shit I have to squat tomorrow instead of Friday. Should be interesting. I’m a bit nervous about it, but the way I calm myself for lifting X plates (315, 405, 495 etc) is that the inconsistencies in the plates the week before add up to over 5lb so I’ve already lifted that much.

Perfectly Normal, Perfectly Healthy.

Press: 225 x 4
Wanted 5, was expecting 4, so I guess that’s reasonable.

Skull Crusher: 110 x 2 x 10
Bit of elbow pain of the first set, they were probably just a lot colder than usual.

Curls: 55 x 2 x 9
Pretty phat pump.

Obviously didn’t bench today because of the meet.

Call me 8:45

‘Cause both hands on the 9

So, I might do a Bench only meet on Saturday. The dude who runs the CPF is a really awesome guy and every year he holds a free bench only meet at his house with a BBQ after. As long as my lifter has it off work we’re gonna go and I’ll be trying for a 160kg bench because why the hell not.

So, Malice, aka No Malice, aka Pusha T’s brother, aka the other guy from Clipse dropped his album and it is AMAZING. I expected it would be really boring since the dude found God, but holy sweet fuck it is good. The beats are on point, and the writing is crazy.

This verse from the title track, Hear Ye Him is out of this world:

I should’ve been dead a long time ago
I offered it death, and almost said line I wrote
Camouflaged it and act like I had offered hope
The gold chain was steady hanging, ni**as choked
My older brother was my hero till he started dope
Wish I could’ve stopped his very first line of coke
But, I don’t judge
We all got a guilty pleasure
And bless my mama heart, she still believe he getting better
That’s faith and every man was dealt a measure
That’s why I believe every word in red letter
I ain’t no better cuz’ even I supplied em’
For 15 or 20 I provide em’
But, never deny the man that’s steady gettin’ mad
At every time he begged for cash, I oblige em’
My conscious is speaking kinda loud lately
Lord forgive me, I done killed my mama’s baby

So yeah. Listen to this shit. Big time.

Bench Press: 275 x 3 x 5
Paused every first rep for obvious reasons. Going to +5lb every 6 weeks. The programme says to do that after a while, so

W/Slanger: 285 x 9
Almost got the 10th, just shy of lockout.

Press: 180 x 3 x 5
Dropped it down a bit to conform with the 80% of intensity week weight, since I’m 225 for AMRAP now.

Chin ups: +90 x 3 x 5
Need more biceps.

Pulnicella Neck Curls: 12kg x 3 x 15
You loop a towel through the handle of a kettlebell, bite the other end of the towel, and do neck curls. Genius.

Squats: 405 x 3 x 5
Slow and terrible. Deep as a motherfucker, though.

SLDL + Shrug: 300 x 3 x 5
So straps make the shrugs WAY better.

Row: 270 x 3 x 5
This was supposed to be 275, as if it fucking matters.

If you got a Metro

I’ma throw a bus on your ass

Deadlift: 490 x 2
I can explain. I think. So, yesterday, I left ~.7L of milk out on the counter for around 2.5 hours because I forgot about it, then put it back in the fridge and drank it this morning. Felt a little bit wonky before pulling, and all the way fucked up afterwards. I didn’t start warming up for speed squats for about 45 minutes because I thought I was gonna puke. Feel a bit better now, but still not great. Anyways, first one was really slow, second rep was solid, got the last one 5″ or so above the knee. Prison.

Speed squats: 275 x 6 x 2
First 4 were terrible, as I still felt like puking, felt a bit better for the last 2.

Back Extension: 100 x 3 x 5

You Plan on Stumpin’ me?

Bitch I’ve been jumped before you put a gun on me
Bitch I put one on yours

So, going to Adam’s skrongman meet Saturday, leaving tomorrow, traffic oughta be a fucking prison. I figure at least if it’s stop and go I can roll my windows down and crank Snowman ALL the way up.

Piss EVERYone off.

Finally back to my school gym. The entire scope of the renovations was to put in new ellipticals that mimic skating or something and put in treadmills with bigger TVs than the ones that the old treadmills had. That took a whole week.


Bench: 317.5 x 2, 327.5 x 2, 337.5 x 2
First two sets were a lot slower than I would have liked, but the last set was pretty smooth.

Press: 242.5 x 0, 225 x 2
Thought I could just go with singles. Guess not. Gonna just try doing AMRAP with 225 every week from now on. See how that treats me.

Bench: 275 x 8

Skull Crushers: 110 x 2 x 9
Last rep was a bit sloppy, it’s fine.

DB Curls: 55 x 2 x 8
Such a fat pump.



In case you missed it, Kendrick Lamar turned the entire hip-hop world upside down by saying he’s the King of both the West Coast and New York, then proceeding to call out his peers by name and say “Hey guys, we’re friends and all, but I’m better than every one of you and I dare you to try and prove me wrong.” He is, and they can’t, so that makes Kendrick the Ilya Ilin of the rap game.

Trained at a Globo the last 2 days because my gym is still closed until tomorrow, and I wasn’t throwing down another $40 for 2 volume days. The guy that worked there said they had 8 Olympic barbells. The guy that worked there doesn’t know what makes an Olympic bar and Olympic bar. They had 0 Olympic bars. He also said there are 7 guys there who can pull 700. If there was I’m pretty sure I’d know who they are. There was one guy who pulls high 6s. He goes to my school, He’s ~280 and I know for a fact he’s on every steron he can get his hands on.

Basically was a fucking prison.

Bench: 275 x 3 x 5
No chalk, terrible benches, prison.
W/Slingshot: 285 x 8

Press: 187.5 x 3 x 5
No Chalk, no knurl. Prison.

Pull-ups: +75 x 5,5,8
Worst pull-up bar in the world. Prison.

Squat: 405 x 3 x 5
Easy as fuck, but prison nonetheless.

SLDL + Shrug: 300 x 3 x 5
Had to use straps, no way am I shrugging with without chalk without dropping the bar.

Row: 270 x 3 x 5