Monthly Archives: November 2013

I Don’t Wanna Lie to God but it’s so Hard to Live Right

I’m carrying 7.62s to fist fights

Squat: 510 x 0
I was coughing so hard that I was puking in my mouth as I approached the bar, so………….

Deadlifts: 365 x 10 x 1
Not nearly fast enough.

Front squat: 405 x 1
Just kinda decided to try it

Back Extensions: 110 x 3 x 5

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 160 x 3 x 8

Get Offa My Dick

Nigga, that’s ya mom’s shit

Bench: 337.5 x 2, 315 x 3
I’m kind of starting to think pressing my ass off every week is what’s fucking with my bench. So I’m gonna tone it down with pressing after I get through the Movember shit, and try and get my bench straight.

Press: 250 x 1 x 3
2 left as of now, it’s pretty much last call if you want one: Come holla atcha uncle

Decline Skull Crushers: 120 x 2 x 11

Curls: 55 x 2 x 10

Choppers EVERYWHERE

Like a Hell’s Angels block party

Bench: 285 x 3 x 5
Felt heavy, still pretty fast, though.
Slingshot set: 295 x 9
Meh

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Way too slow.

Supersetted w/Neck Curls: 16kg x 3 x 25
Might as well move up to a 45 next week.

Pull ups: +90 x 5, 5, 6
Cool

Squats: 415 x 3 x 5
First set felt absolutely fucking awful, but the other two were perfectly fine. The third was actually really good.

SLDL: 330 x 3 x 5
So smooth. SO smooth.

Rows: 285 x 3 x 5
Felt real good, 3 hunna at some point soon would be cool.

Now Doctors Putting Plates in his Head

Like it was a cupboard

Deadlifts: 500×1
Fucking injury was bugging me, I came hella out of position as a result on the second single and couldn’t recover. Considering getting some serious therapy on it.

Squats: 300×1
Felt okayish, first three sets could have been faster but I was pausing them

Back extension: 110x3x5

Pinch Grip DLs: 160x3x8
Fucking tough as hella

I Carry my Cross to Where they Bury my Coffin

Bench: 335 x 2, 345 x 2, 357.5 x 1
Misloaded the first two, and they were two slow. First rep of last set was slow, second wasn’t close. I’m gonna go for it again next week. I don’t fucking know.

Press: 250 x 1 x 2
4 left, unless you guys make me do more.

Back off Bench: 285 x 7
8th was so fucking close.

Skull Crushers: 120 x 2 x 10
Smooth.

Curls: 55 x 2 x 10
Mm.

Your Girl is Bored to Death of Your Eggroll Di-dick

So I dug her back out
And I ain’t necrophilic

Bench: 285 x 3 x 5
Could have been faster, but I’m not complaining.
W/Slingshot: 295 x 9
Bar path was all over the place here.

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Surprisingly smooth

Supersetted with Neck Curls: 16kg x 20, 25, 25
Because I was running a bit late because Sleepy Sunday.

Pull ups: +90 x 3 x 5
I guess that’s kind of cool

 

Squat: 415 x 5, 5, 6
My nose started bleeding on the first set, after the set if stuffed some paper towel up there and moved on. Lost count on the last set and did six. Whatevs. These felt pretty tough overall today, but I think they tend to be tougher when I squat intensity on the preceding Friday.

SLDL + Shrug: 330 x 3 x 5
Easier than usual, first set was like butter.

Rows: 285 x 3 x 5
WAY smoother than usual.

Sent ya Moms a bit of Money and a Sympathy Letter

Tell her she raised a bunch of fuckboys, next time do better…
Bitch.

Squat: 505 x 3 
Came a bit forward on the ascent of the second rep, so that was a tad slow, but the first and third were smoke shows. This puts my estimated 1RM equal to the world record I wanna break. I know that estimations aren’t worth shit, but damn. I’m fucking ready.

Deadlift: 365 x 10 x 1 @ 60 seconds rest
All of them except the last two were really fucking smooth, and even those weren’t that bad. DOH’d because I want to have the skrongest grip in the world eventually.

Back Extension: 110 x 3 x 5
Felt so good

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 160 x 3 x 8
Last set was hella rough, but my forearm pump was amazing.

I Gave her an Honourable Discharge

And she took it like a soldier.

Press: 250 x 3
3 down, 7 to go. So far, that is, if you wanna make me do more presses come holla at me

DE Bench Press: 225 x 6 x 2
Got a bit tiring towards the end
Bench Back Off: 285 x 8
9th wasn’t even close

Decline Skull Crushers: 120 x 2 x 10
Phat Pumps

Straight Bar Curls: 120 x 2 x 8
Only did these because idiots who didn’t know what they were doing were using the DBs I wanted for an eternity. Doesn’t really matter anyways.

Feels like I didn’t really accomplish anything, but I guess that’s fine because I have to squat 505×3 on Friday. That should be interesting.

I’ll Spark ya Homies on some Raiden Shit

Johnny Cage ya hips
and have my girl Sonya Blade ya bitch

Sunday:

Bench: 285 x 3 x 5
Felt so fucking light and smooth. Every rep was pretty much exactly the same and really fast.
W/Slingshot: 295 x 10
Really smooth, might have been able to push for 11, but I came forward on either the 9th or the 10th, and the 10th had a slow lockout, so I called it.

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Very fast and smooth, felt good. Cleans felt like shit, though, because bloat from whole pizza and 2.5lb protein shake at 2230h last night.

Chins: +90 x 5, 5, 8
I dunno, doesn’t really matter all that much

Neck Curls: 16kg x 3 x 25
The only problem with these is that my jaw is getting huge making it look like I have a bit of a double chin.

Gym girl was definitely working this morning.

>Walk in
>Good morning!
>”Hi, how are you?”
>I’m well, and yourself?
>”I’m good.”
>Awkward smiles all around

When I was doing my chins some guy who’s at least 4” taller than me and wears an arm band MP3 player holder came in and before actually doing anything sat on the counter and talked to her for 10 minutes. He probably does half-depth squats with 2 plates one day every week, then goes home and shares a bunch of Gym Memes photos about the crippling after effects of leg day. She probably doesn’t see anything wrong with any of this, and while she usually has a chuckle at the pictures when they show up on her feed, she never clicks “Like”

>Finished neck curls
>Pack up stuff
>Walking out
>Bye
>”-Bye!…HaveAGoodOne.”

Cya

 

Monday:
Gym girl was there today, but not working just doing abs. She most likely saw me, but I wasn’t gonna walk across the whole gym to say hi. That seemed like a terrible idea.

Squat: 415 x 3 x 5
First set was a bit slow, second and third felt better. I’m feeling some tightness at the bottom of my right quad, so I’ll roll that out tonight.

SLDL + Shrug: 330 x 3 x 5
All of them felt good, except I wore the wrong shorts again and tapped my penis a bunch of times. Didn’t hit my balls, though, so that’s a plus.

Rows: 285 x 3 x 5
Smoooooooooth

You a Downright Square

Like a Liu Kang Fireball

Speed Squats: 300 x 6 x 2
These were tougher than 275, but Mike Hedlesky does his speed work with 520, so I guess I should just go fuck myself.

Deadlifts: 495 x 5 x 1 @ 2 Min rest.
Woah buddy these were tough, especially my lockouts, but the cool thing is I have legit monster grip from the pinch grip deadlifts so even if I take forever to lock it out my grip doesn’t even start to slip. I’m gonna pull 10 singles @ 70% on my squat weeks from here on out.

Back Extensions: 110 x 3 x 5
Felt pretty smooth, pause at the top is so harsh.

Pinch Grip DLs: 157.5 x 3 x 8
Last set was torture.

In other news the girl who works at my gym, the one I got to spot my slingshot set that one Sunday is all hella smiley and friendly when she sees me, but doesn’t seem to be as smiley or friendly to other patrons, so either she thinks I’m a literal retard or that I’m a cutie. I guess we’ll never find out.