Monthly Archives: February 2014

Catch a Nose Bleed like Cheap Seats, Cousin

I’ll three-piece something
I’ll Bang-Bang
Chief Keef someone

Deadlifts: 490 x 5 x 1
Would have been faster if I had slept enough.

DE Squats: 300 x 6 x 2
All paused, mostly really fast.

Back Extensions: 120 x 3 x 5
Really streeeeeeeeched out the bottom on the last set. Feels good mang.

Pinch Grips: 165 x 3 x 8



I Wet Him Up

Got the metal still smokin’;
Michael Phelps

Bench: 330 x 2, 345 x 2, 360 x 1, 295 x 7
Was closer than last week, but I’m tired of driving my dick into the ground with this and it’s becoming less and less efficient. I mathed it out and if I start a deload next week from 335 my last intensity weight before nats will be 372.5, which is exactly where I’d wanna be.

Press: 225 x 3
Felt like nothing, that’s cool.

Skull crushers: 140 x 2 x 8
Felt pretty tough, but it’s a 10lb jump soooooooo

Curls: 60 x 2 x 9
The prettiest girl was right right near where I was and I told Jess that I’d bake her a whole pie and buy her a pint of Haagen Dazs if she got me her phone number, but Jess is still a terrible friend.

Fist-Fuck your Pregnant Girlfriend

and give your unborn kid a noogie.

Bench: 295 x 3 x 5
First set was fast, but the second and third were a bit slower, as is typical when I don’t sleep enough (had to watch hockey.)
Slingshot: 305 x 8
9th wasn’t even close.

Press: 185 x 3 x 3
Felt like absolutely nothing

Neck Curls: 50 x 25, 25, 30.

Pull ups: +100 x 5, 5, 7
Christ, these were slow.

Squats: 410 x 3 x 5
Last set could have been a bit faster, but nothing was slow and it all felt really good.

SLDL: 255 x 3 x 5
First two sets felt really good, last was kinda grindy.

Rows: 295 x 3 x 5
Might have done six on the first set. Either way.

Thinkin’ “I got Court in the Morning, but I’ma Stay up Still.”

Because them smokers hitting the glass like a lay-up drill

Squat: 480 x 3
Felt good and smooth, despite me sleeping pretty terrible all week, then afterwards the girl who missed a squat Tuesday that I lifted the bar up back to the pins for told Caleb my squats were insane and my legs were huge. Normally I wouldn’t give a fuck if someone thought I was terrible or great but she’s reeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllly cute. Of course Caleb didn’t invite her to lift with us or tell me about this until after she left.

Deadlift: 380 x 10 x 1
Last few could have been faster, but I had to pewp and my back was still a bit tight.

Back Extension: 120 x 3 x 5

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 165 x 3 x 8
Felt really smooth and ezpz

Head on Collision; I’ma Cripple that Cooch

In a pair of British Knights and a Triple Fat Goose

Bench: 340 x 2, 350 x 2, 360 x 1, 295 x 7
Not surprised, was DOMS’d all over from the SLDLs. Backoff set is probably some sort of PR. As if it fucking matters.

Press: 225 x 3
So harsh with lower back DOMS.

Decline Skull Crushers: 130 x 2 x 12

Curls: 60 x 2 x 8
Arms still aren’t 18” yet. More curls.

Your Bitch Calls my Cock Richard

Because it’s a longer form of Dick.

Bench: 295 x 3 x 5
Felt kind of heavy in my hands, but the speed was still there.
Slingshot: 305 x 8
Reasonable enough.

Press: 185 x 3 x 3
First set felt a bit slow, the other two were rockets

Neck Curl: 50 x 3 x 25
Gonna just push more reps, I think if I go much heavier it will be pretty rough on my teeth.

Pull Ups: +100 x 5, 5, 7
Cool cool cool.


Skawhdz: 410 x 3 x 5
Fast and easy, but kicked the crap out of me. I was probably dehydrated as my mouth was perpetually dry the whole session.

SLDL+Shrug: 355 x 3 x 5
10lb jump because I pussed out on going straight to 365. First two sets were smooth, last was tough.

Rows: 295 x 3 x 5
Last set was fucking terrible, 1st was okayish, 2nd was good.

I’m a Heart-Breaker, Babe

Gave her a defibrillator for Valentine’s Day

Deadlifts: 485 x 5 x 1
All of these were really smooth and fast considering I’ve only got a full sleep one night this week and was bloated from eating hella milk and cookies while watch Canada grind their feet in Austria’s couch.

DE Squats: 300 x 6 x 2
I spent most of this time being distracted by the girl 2 racks over with the really pretty eyes, but they were all paused and fast. Might go to 3 plates soonish.

Back Extensions: 120 x 3 x 5
These felt kinda poopy. I think I didn’t set the positioning on the GHR right.

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 165 x 3 x 8
Felt dece.

I’ll Give this Bitch so Many Lefts

That he’ll be begging for rights,
Like the suffrage movement.


Bench: 340 x 2, 350 x 1 x 2, 290 x 7
My stomach was dead empty as my entire breakfast went down the drain, and everything was aching by after the first set. After I hit 360 x 2 (Hopefully next week) I’m gonna probably start doing my bench PRs on a 4 week periodization set up.

Press: 225 x 3
My pissed-offed-ness must have been the reason these weren’t so bad.

Skull Crushers: 130 x 2 x 11
Should have been able to do 12

Curls: 55 x 2 x 10

I’ll Show up With a Bunch of Kids you Don’t Know;

Maury Show
That act like Caine from Menace:
They let the .40 go.
And before you know they’ll blow you through the wall;
Glory hole.

Bench: 290 x 3 x 5
Felt helllllllla sketchy as I didn’t have my chalk (Long story, #BlameCaleb) but I mean the sweet release of the bar splitting my trachea wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. Wither way my back was slipping and my hands were moving 2-3” each set.
W/Slingshot: 300 x 8
Did not feel safe taking a 9th.

Press: 185 x 3 x 3
Couldn’t have felt lighter.

Neck Curls: 50 x 20, 25, 25
Did a warm up with 25 first, made a pretty significant difference.

Pull-ups: +90 x 5, 5, 10
Guess it’ll be a hunna next week.

Sidenote: Why do the bitchmade dudes who are in the gym doing some fuck shit the ONLY ones who ever walk by me and make a point of bumping my shoulder? Like if I wasn’t a level headed person who is strongly adverse to creating violent situations you’d probably be missing teeth. Fuck yourself.

Squats: 405 x 3 x 5
These felt big time smooth, felt like 3 plates. Good. Goooooooood. It’s not 1014, though.

SLDL + Shrug: 345 x 3 x 5
Way better than last week, but still reasonably tough.

Rows: 290 x 3 x 5
Feels good mang.

Then I did some yoga and I’m pretty sure the gym staff was openly laughing at us.

I’m Leaving Loads and Magnums all Over Your Home at Random.

Home at Random.

Domes in stove, in the cabinet, by the phone; where your bath is.
Your girl even showed me where the stash is!
And I’ve been dying to admit it..
She got an onion booty; I almost CRIED when I split it.

Squats: 475 x 3
Raaaaaage Skwaaaaatz. 1st was slightly slow, second and third I cooked.

Deadlifts: 380 x 10 x 1
Dece, pretty fast, particularly the first 6 or so.

Back Extensions: 120 x 3 x 5
These were really smooth with the exception of the set that was misplaced on my back.

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 165 x 3 x 8
These felt terribly hard, hands kept slipping for some reason, for both my friend and I.