Monthly Archives: June 2014

Started With a Dollar and a Dream,

Ended with two pennies and a Nightmare.
But that’s still enough sense to know…

Guess we’ll start with the water cut, as I suspect that’s the root of my problems. I drank 12L of water on Wednesday, and ate a lemon right before bed. I then spent all day Thursday with no food or water whatsoever. It was only a 6.5lb water cut, which isn’t a big deal, but I think what fucked me up the most is not putting enough of that weight back on. I only had two meals so we could avoid taking more cabs. I thought it would be enough. I was wrong.

Either way, woke up for meet day on a full night’s sleep ate a light breakfast, and went downstairs to the meet. Worked Jess through her warm ups and squats. Started going through my warm ups. My last one at 425 was definitely too slow, but I didn’t care. My head was in the right space even if my body wasn’t. I had the fire going. I unracked 501, went to walk it out, and nearly tripped over the loose fitting carpet on the floor. Everyone had to deal with it, but I guess that’s what I get for walking out of a mono-lift. I fucked up my set up big time and missed. My head space was gone, I was panicking. Took 501 again. As soon as I set my feet my knee was on fire. Likely from my first attempt. Great. Walk out was even shakier. Even better. I got it this time, smooth, but not fast. At this point I knew I could make ~520 and hate myself for it or go for 551 like I came all this way to do and have a big chance at not making it. Well, I’d rather miss a lift I wanted to make than finish, so I missed 551, knee still lit up.

I wasn’t feeling too good about myself at this point, but I had to bench, so whatever. Opened with 341, smoked it. Took 374. This is supposed to be easy. 370 for a double was no problem, this is easier. Touched way too low, I was close but I couldn’t recover. 374 again. I fought it hard, but it wasn’t even as close as my second.

I figured at this point I’d go a bit easier on my pulls to try and salvage a pathetic 1400lb total from what was supposed to be a 1527lb total with 2 world records. Took my last warm up on the platform as I had planned all along, EZPZ, looked like I didn’t even have a bar in my hands. 523lb up next, still fast and smooth. Felt good. I needed 558 for the 1400, so I took 562 as it was the next highest increment, got it really high, really fast, then it just stopped. Fought for a bit, but lockout wasn’t there.

The worst part of this meet is that it’s not a matter of strength. I’ve squatted 520 x 3, I’ve benched 370 x 2, the numbers are fucking there, but today, the one day I really needed them, they weren’t. I’m pretty thoroughly unimpressed with what I did today overall, and I feel like I really pissed the sheets on this one.

I guess the biggest lesson I learned is to not bother with conservative attempts because if I’m gonna miss all my lifts I may as well miss some respectable numbers.

Oh, and I had the best total in my weight class, but that probably says more about my competition than it does about me since I went 4/9.


After This We’re Poppin’ Bottles at the Fauntleroy

I’m mixin’ Crist’ with the ‘Spades like Tommy Boy

Openers in singlet day.

Squat: 500 x 1
Should have been quite a bit faster, but after noticing the bar was bent I decided “Ehh, fuggit.” and didn’t get another one, so the bar rolled 2” up my back when I unracked it and I ended up coming way forward. Good to know I can squat 5 with a bent bar and no psyche up, I guess.

Bench: 340 x 1

Deadlift: 440 x 1
I didn’t pull a heavy triple even though I’m about a week out.

I get it Popping,

Like throwing ninja stars at a titty bar

Bench: 295 x  5
Could have been faster, but I was up until 0400h, so it happens

Press: 185 x  5
Same ol’


Squat: 420 x 5
Easy, felt good

SLDL + Shrug: 370 x  5
Injury felt a bit fucky so I rolled it afterwards

Hit you With a Slap,

A fist, or the deuce;
That’s Rock-Paper-Scissors

Squat: 520 x 3
My heart was hammering in my chest, my adrenaline was up, but I couldn’t summon the demons for some reason. The fire just wasn’t spark. Whatever, it was time to work. Hands slam into the bar, shift it around axially to make sure that knurl is dug into my palms. Slam my traps into the bar. Make sure it’s not going anywhere without my permission. It’s attached to me. Set feet, unrack. Feels twice as heavy as it should. Too bad. Sink for the first one. Catch bounce, not fast, but no risk of missing it. Big breath, sink again catch bounce. Slower, but still have it. Big breath. Dunno if I’m coming back up this time, bigger breath. Sink. Bounce. Still dunno if I’m coming up or not. Pitch forward. Fuck. Push Back. Chest up. It’s mine. Hold it. It’s mine. Rack it. We’re not done until I say so.

Deadlifts: 390 x 10 x 1
Could have been a bit faster but whatever.

So that’s the first time I’ve gone into a meet without missing any lifts in the approaching weeks. Now it’s pretty much smooth sailing and lots of recovery. I’m coming back from Scotia with those World Record.

You Started off Terrible

And got worse with age.
Like HIV when it turns to AIDS.

Bench: 350 x 2, 360 x 2, 370 x 2
Was gonna get a spot, but neither of the two guys I trust to spot were around.

Press: 225 x 3
Was honestly paying more attention to the girl I was gonna share a rack with until someone else said they were done with the one they were using. What a jerk.

On my Birthday, I blew out the Candles

And wished a nigga would.


Bench: 295 x 2 x 5
Long pauses on the first reps, they were really fast and smooth, too.

Press: 185 x 2 x 5
Like butter

Squat: 420 x 2 x 5

SLDL + Shrug: 370 x 2 x 5

Get Found Dead in your Crib

Like the baby from Trainspotting

Deadlifts: 525 x 1 x 5
Felt fucking terrible. Even my last warm up felt shit. Haven’t been sleeping enough and felt kind of off this morning. So, these were probably the worst pulls I’ve ever made, despite it being a PR. Probably would have got red lights/down command before lockout because they were so slow, but I still locked them out eventually.

Pause Squats: 315 x 6 x 2 
Pretty sure All of them were 3 count. Cool.

Prolly gonna eat BBQ now.

I’m Packing Fire Power

Like I’m about to bite the flower then fight with Bowser

Bench: 347.5 x 2, 357.5 x 2, 367.5 x 2, 295 x 9
If anyone wants to jump on the no-spotter-suicide-grip-PR-train, it’s getting ready to leave the station.

Press: 225 x 3

I could really get used to this only doing two lifts a session thing

Ain’t Drive my Rolls Royce no More;

I saw a fuck-nigga in one.

Bench: 295 x 3 x 5
Felt kinda heavy, but speed was good.
Slingshot: 305 x 10

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Fast and easy


Squats: 420 x 3 x 5
The gym was a temperature at which I could lie on my bed in nothing but underwear and break a sweat, and I really had to poop, so they could have been a tad faster, but it’s fhhhhhaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiine.

SLDL + Shrug: 365 x 3 x 5
2nd set felt rough, other 2 were smoove.

No rows because taper.