Curious George Eating a Meal on the Internet

THAT’S A BANANA CLIP

Bench: 342.5 x 2, 352.5 x 2, 362.5 x 1
Guess that’s what my dumb ass gets for sleeping like shit all week. Stomach felt wonky all morning, too.

Press: 225 x 3
Felt kinda slow, so I didn’t go for more.

Tate Press: 65 x 2 x 8
Meh.

Curls: (50, 40, 30) x 2 x 8
At least the most important lift felt good.

Hippity-Hop Niggas Wan’ Rap in the Booth Cute

Meanwhile I got crack stashed up in the deuce-chute

Bench: 290 x 3 x 5
Was hoping for a little bit more speed, but nothing to complain about.
Slingshot: 300 x 9
Messed up the path on the first rep.

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Again, a bit too slow for my liking.

Neck Curls: 50 x 20, 20, 25
Tree Trunk Lyfe.

Chins: +100 x 5, 5, 7
Felt 1000x better than last week.

Squat: 405 x 3 x 5
Pretty sure I fell asleep during the second set because of how fucking boring and easy these were.

SLDL+Shrug: 365 x 3 x 5
These were really fucking tough though. I dunno.

Rows: 300 x 3 x 5
Tougher than the squats, easier than the pulls.

Just Bought a New Choppa With a Shoulder Strap;

And I’m about to put a body on it like a Yoga Mat.

Squat: 495 x 3
Figured this was a stupid place to start my training cycle, so I did it anyway. Pretty easy, especially the last one.

DE Deadlifts: 390 x 10 x 1
Could have had a bit more pop on the last ones.

Back Extension: 140 x 3 x 5
I missed these.

Pinch Grip Deadlifts: 145 x 3 x 5
I didn’t miss these, but my hands were starting to look like a normal person’s again so I figured I should do them anyway.

I Hated When my Moms Joined the Neighbourhood Watch,

I put crack on the street and let the neighbourhood watch
I said I’ma be somebody in this neighbourhood, watch
Started takin’ everybody in the neighbourhood watch

Bench: 340 x 2, 350 x 2, 360 x 2
Completely forgot I do a backoff set on these until right this minute. It happens. Probably better off without that volume on the first week of the cycle anyway.

Press: 225 x 4
Didn’t have the 5th, as I came out of path on the 3rd.

Tate Press: 65 x 2 x 8
Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezey

Curls: (50, 40, 30) x 2 x 8
Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult.

If he Fuck With me, It’s Three’s Company:

I’ll have two bitches come and knock at your door

Bench: 290 x 3 x 5
First couple reps of each set were good, then slowed down big time. What my dumbass gets for going to bed at 0500h
Slingshot: 300 x 8
This was tough

Press: 185 x 3 x 5
Same deal as Bench.

Neck Curls: 50 x 3 x 20

Chin ups: +100 x 3 x 5
Felt fucking awful.

Squat: 405 x 3 x 5
Percentage-wise I was supposed to squat 395, but I said fuck that I ain’t fuggin with less than 4 plates because I ain’t going out like a bitch, shit was mad easy regardless b.

SLDL + Shrug: 365 x 3 x 5
Pretty tough, probably should have deloaded by more than 5 pounds.

Pendlay Row: 300 x 3 x 5
Pretty tough, probably should have deloaded by more than 0 pounds.

This Gun’ll Flip u a Round

Like a Lowercase n

Usually when I take a week off I get mad sore from my first volume work, so I decided try something out to mitigate that. I just figured some volume-ish weight for a set of 5 (beltles, obv) would put me in a better place for Sunday/Monday

Squat: 405 x 5
Felt a bit creaky, but speed, etc was fine

Bench: 275 x 5
Felt like pretty much nothing

Deadlift: 405 x 5
Did them double overhand which is some sort of faggoty PR because the last time I did 405 DOH it was belted and only for one.

Started With a Dollar and a Dream,

Ended with two pennies and a Nightmare.
But that’s still enough sense to know…

Guess we’ll start with the water cut, as I suspect that’s the root of my problems. I drank 12L of water on Wednesday, and ate a lemon right before bed. I then spent all day Thursday with no food or water whatsoever. It was only a 6.5lb water cut, which isn’t a big deal, but I think what fucked me up the most is not putting enough of that weight back on. I only had two meals so we could avoid taking more cabs. I thought it would be enough. I was wrong.

Either way, woke up for meet day on a full night’s sleep ate a light breakfast, and went downstairs to the meet. Worked Jess through her warm ups and squats. Started going through my warm ups. My last one at 425 was definitely too slow, but I didn’t care. My head was in the right space even if my body wasn’t. I had the fire going. I unracked 501, went to walk it out, and nearly tripped over the loose fitting carpet on the floor. Everyone had to deal with it, but I guess that’s what I get for walking out of a mono-lift. I fucked up my set up big time and missed. My head space was gone, I was panicking. Took 501 again. As soon as I set my feet my knee was on fire. Likely from my first attempt. Great. Walk out was even shakier. Even better. I got it this time, smooth, but not fast. At this point I knew I could make ~520 and hate myself for it or go for 551 like I came all this way to do and have a big chance at not making it. Well, I’d rather miss a lift I wanted to make than finish, so I missed 551, knee still lit up.

I wasn’t feeling too good about myself at this point, but I had to bench, so whatever. Opened with 341, smoked it. Took 374. This is supposed to be easy. 370 for a double was no problem, this is easier. Touched way too low, I was close but I couldn’t recover. 374 again. I fought it hard, but it wasn’t even as close as my second.

I figured at this point I’d go a bit easier on my pulls to try and salvage a pathetic 1400lb total from what was supposed to be a 1527lb total with 2 world records. Took my last warm up on the platform as I had planned all along, EZPZ, looked like I didn’t even have a bar in my hands. 523lb up next, still fast and smooth. Felt good. I needed 558 for the 1400, so I took 562 as it was the next highest increment, got it really high, really fast, then it just stopped. Fought for a bit, but lockout wasn’t there.

The worst part of this meet is that it’s not a matter of strength. I’ve squatted 520 x 3, I’ve benched 370 x 2, the numbers are fucking there, but today, the one day I really needed them, they weren’t. I’m pretty thoroughly unimpressed with what I did today overall, and I feel like I really pissed the sheets on this one.

I guess the biggest lesson I learned is to not bother with conservative attempts because if I’m gonna miss all my lifts I may as well miss some respectable numbers.

Oh, and I had the best total in my weight class, but that probably says more about my competition than it does about me since I went 4/9.

After This We’re Poppin’ Bottles at the Fauntleroy

I’m mixin’ Crist’ with the ‘Spades like Tommy Boy

Openers in singlet day.

Squat: 500 x 1
Should have been quite a bit faster, but after noticing the bar was bent I decided “Ehh, fuggit.” and didn’t get another one, so the bar rolled 2” up my back when I unracked it and I ended up coming way forward. Good to know I can squat 5 with a bent bar and no psyche up, I guess.

Bench: 340 x 1
Flew.

Deadlift: 440 x 1
I didn’t pull a heavy triple even though I’m about a week out.

I get it Popping,

Like throwing ninja stars at a titty bar

Bench: 295 x  5
Could have been faster, but I was up until 0400h, so it happens

Press: 185 x  5
Same ol’

 

Squat: 420 x 5
Easy, felt good

SLDL + Shrug: 370 x  5
Injury felt a bit fucky so I rolled it afterwards

Hit you With a Slap,

A fist, or the deuce;
That’s Rock-Paper-Scissors

Squat: 520 x 3
My heart was hammering in my chest, my adrenaline was up, but I couldn’t summon the demons for some reason. The fire just wasn’t spark. Whatever, it was time to work. Hands slam into the bar, shift it around axially to make sure that knurl is dug into my palms. Slam my traps into the bar. Make sure it’s not going anywhere without my permission. It’s attached to me. Set feet, unrack. Feels twice as heavy as it should. Too bad. Sink for the first one. Catch bounce, not fast, but no risk of missing it. Big breath, sink again catch bounce. Slower, but still have it. Big breath. Dunno if I’m coming back up this time, bigger breath. Sink. Bounce. Still dunno if I’m coming up or not. Pitch forward. Fuck. Push Back. Chest up. It’s mine. Hold it. It’s mine. Rack it. We’re not done until I say so.

Deadlifts: 390 x 10 x 1
Could have been a bit faster but whatever.

So that’s the first time I’ve gone into a meet without missing any lifts in the approaching weeks. Now it’s pretty much smooth sailing and lots of recovery. I’m coming back from Scotia with those World Record.